Utopia That Does Not Exist?

By littleGiniK

I was once talking a walk with two male colleagues going for lunch. The cafeteria happens to be quite some distance away from the office. I was carrying my handbag, the laptop and heavy books, while my colleagues had their hands in their pockets. At some point I stopped and asked them how they could possibly be walking by my side and not offer any help. One of them was quick to retort, “You are the ones fighting for gender equality, why should I help you?” We got into a long argument about gender equality. Suffice it to say that he did not offer his help, at least the other colleague offered to carry the laptop.

This incident came to my mind last week when there was heated argument on twitter about whether it was right for a woman to support a man, following the infamous story of a woman who was found dead in her apartment and who it is said had been involved with a well known former TV anchor.

This debate had me thinking a lot about gender equality. This expression can be quite misleading. I like to think that gender equality refers to equality of dignity and opportunity between men and women and especially equality to participate fully in public life, political, professional and social sphere. Let’s face it, men and women cannot be equal in their respective sexual nature, they are quite different. They are not equal but complementary. There should therefore be no question as to which of the sexes is superior. One is either a woman or man by birth. In each case that person will be superior who manages to develop the characteristic virtues of his or her own sex overcoming the defects which are considered peculiar to the same sex.

A man has always been expected to provide and protect, a woman to care for others. A man is expected to be strong, brave, sporty, a woman gentle, tender, feminine, modest. A man has more muscle, a woman more heart. There are things a man will do and get away with even though they may not be so good. If the same things were done by a woman, she will come off looking worse. A man is expected to provide and support his family and a woman to care and nurture hers. The constant bickering between the sexes has resulted in them seeing each other as opposition rather than complementarity. This has led as, Cormac Burke in his book “Man and Values” states, to a disruptive feminism or “masculinism” obsessed with a struggle for power which tends to reduce all aspects of men-women relationships to opposition.

It is not uncommon therefore to see men fight with women to get in or out of a bus, or a man being ‘kept’ by a woman. On the other hand, women have become so defensive that any affront from a man is believed by them to be a show of superiority of sex. There is no better demonstration of this than on our roads. It has also led to an uncomfortable situation where men refer to all women as ‘ladies’ because they’re afraid the word “woman’ may offend.

While it is commendable that feminist movements have endeavoured to correct the many abuses of preceding centuries, it must be noted that equality cannot be right down to every aspect that concerns men and women. The differences between the two sexes should complement, create a harmony, and not compete. Which man would appreciate a woman who had a moustache and hairy legs? And which woman would respect a man who does not show a certain strength, the capacity to face difficulties in a positive way, initiative especially of taking full responsibility of his family? A man can constantly find inspiration in what is feminine; a woman in what is masculine.

A world that does not encourage men to be more masculine and women to be more feminine is a poorer place for growing up in, for learning to be human . C. Burke.

* I attribute the title of this post to one of my followers.