If I was Drunk


So yesterday night was Wednesday night and for the first time in months I did not do something I usually do. Naturally I struggled with getting adjusted to the idea of not going to listen to some drunk folks singing their hearts out and just making my evening as I laughed my heart out and enjoyed the company of a very special friend that always accompanies me to these nights. So with a clear mind……unmisted with the good music and poor singers at Hub, i wrote this:

If i was drunk,

I would sleep and not care if I awoke,

I would buy another bottle,

Then put my nose in your business and meddle.


I would waylay you,

on your way to the loo.

Tell you how beautiful you are,

Perhaps convince you to sit with me here.

I would tell you how awkward it is,

For you to be sitting there alone at ease,

While all the men admired your gait.

I would tell you I like your smile, wait.

Would you ask if am always like this?

I wouldn’t tell you it’s because am drunk.

In fact I would tell you I don’t usually do this.


I know I would see those curves turn up,

I would feel your coldness melt,

You would be glad we met.

If I was drunk, and I know I might look crazy.

I might walk out in a frenzy.

Perhaps to take a pee.

Then come back and join you.

Buy a Margarita for you to sip,

Or a cocktail for you to dip,

Maybe a whiskey for you to down.

Perhaps you would take one of those,

You usually can’t pronounce.

Plain Baron de Vaals, Chamdor, or one from Champs elysees,


Money wouldn’t be a problem,

That’s my emblem.

You would tell me you like me,

They always do.

and i would too.

You would leave for the loo,

and that would be my cue.

Ready to make dirty,

Your carefully woven fabric of dignity.

The last thing you would remember,

before you fall into a slumber,

Would be you liked me.

It would be a pity. But final.


The thoughts expressed herein do not necessarily reflect my personal experience.

Moral: Do not speak to strangers…..No matter how beautiful or charming.

© Ado Yiembo.

Copy and pass “If i was drunk” around to your heart’s content,
but always post my Copyright notice above, correctly, both as  courtesy and as a legal necessity to protect any writer. Thank you.

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